#ViolencePrevention

Snapchat Isn’t as Safe as You Think – Why Disappearing Messages Don’t Mean Protection

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Why Teens Love Snapchat

For many teenagers, Snapchat feels like freedom. Messages disappear, photos vanish after a few seconds, and conversations seem to leave no trace. To them, this means they can be more spontaneous, playful, and even rebellious without fearing “permanent consequences.” Even the simple fact that their family members don’t know about it or don’t understand it makes it more appealing. But this illusion of safety is exactly what makes Snapchat dangerous.

The Hidden Risks

1. Screenshots and third-party apps – Nothing really disappears. A single screenshot, or an app that secretly saves snaps, can make “temporary” photos permanent. This isn’t limited to Snapchat but it should be a general rule when it comes to the internet. If it goes online, it will always remain there.


2. Grooming and sextortion – Predators often use the disappearing feature to pressure teens into sharing intimate images, then use those images for blackmail. It is very common and many teens can’t handle this type of pressure. What starts like something fun, turns into something tragic way too many times.


3. Cyberbullying – Harassment becomes harder to track when messages vanish, making victims feel helpless. Even if the messages disappear from the victim’s device, they remain engraved in their memory.


4. False sense of security – Teens often believe they’re protected, which lowers their guard and exposes them to risks they wouldn’t take on more transparent platforms. Also, not having any parental control can encourage them to behave more recklessly.

What Parents Can Do

Start the conversation early – Talk about online safety before your child even installs the app. Talking to your children and explaining the dangers they expose themselves to must become your most important routine. Teach them to come to you whenever they feel uncomfortable or scared.

Avoid becoming the “house police” – Instead of spying, create trust. Ask questions, listen, and explain why disappearing doesn’t mean safe. It is very important for them to understand that you don’t want to control them but to keep them safe. So they should always come to you and ask for help if they need it.

Teach digital permanence – Remind them: if it’s online, it can be saved.

Offer alternatives – Encourage safer ways of staying connected with friends that don’t rely on disappearing content.

Snapchat thrives on the idea that what happens there, stays there. Reality proves otherwise. A captured snap can haunt a teenager for years, turning a “moment of fun” into a lasting nightmare. Parents don’t need to ban every app, but they do need to step in with awareness, education, and open communication.

I will leave you with a real sting operation designed to catch a “sextortion scammer”. Even though the operation took place on Instagram, I want you all to understand that this can happen on any app, so don’t take it lightly.
You can watch “Hunting my Sextortion Scammer” on Channel4 or YouTube.
A powerful 90-second summary of this operation is also available on LinkedIn:

Watch the short version here

Spot the Danger Before It Spots You – How to Identify a Potentially Dangerous Partner

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Monsters don’t wear masks in real life. They smile. They charm. And they wait.
Abusers rarely look dangerous at first glance. In fact, many are experts at blending in, earning your trust, and slowly tightening their grip until you can barely breathe — figuratively or literally.
Here’s how to recognize the warning signs before you get pulled into something you can’t easily escape.

1. They Move Too Fast

If someone is rushing you into exclusivity, talking about moving in together, or declaring deep love after only a few weeks — that’s not romance. That’s control disguised as passion.
Love bombing is one of the most common tactics of abusers. And it works. Many women crave to feel seen and wanted and they often overlook a behaviour that should trigger all the internal alarms they have. And even if they do, they still ignore them. How many of you thought “He’s a good guy, I should stop overthinking”? You’re not overthinking. If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t.

2. They Test Your Boundaries Early

Pay attention to small acts of disrespect:

Ignoring your “no”;

Pressuring you into things you’re not ready for;

Making “jokes” that cross the line.
These aren’t accidents — they’re tests to see what you’ll tolerate. Once he’s crossed your boundaries, things will never go back to how they used to be and he will always push them further. All the abused women I had encountered during my career always said “maybe this time he will learn his lesson and will stop hurting me”. They never do. Never!


3. They Demand Constant Access

Needing to know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing 24/7 is not love — it’s surveillance.
If they become irritated when you don’t answer immediately, take it as a red flag. Also, asking for access and passwords on your accounts and controlling them. You are not a child that needs constant supervision. A relationship should be based on mutual respect and trust. If he can’t trust you, let him go. Things won’t change further down the road.

4. They Try to Isolate You

Subtle digs at your friends or family.
Discouraging you from going out alone.
“Why do you need them when you have me?”
Isolation is how they remove your safety net. I cannot stress enough how important your friends and family are to support you especially if you are in an abusive relationship. I know many of you bear the stigma of shame. Tell your family, ask for help. It can make the difference between life and death.


5. They Twist Reality

If they constantly downplay your feelings, deny things you know happened, or make you question your own memory — that’s gaslighting, and it’s designed to break your confidence. “You’re crazy; you’re just imagining things”. No you’re not, walk away.

6. They Show Inconsistent Anger

Explosive reactions to small problems, road rage, or cruelty to animals are often precursors to interpersonal violence. Believe what you see, not what they promise. Again, don’t make the mistake to think that they won’t do it to you, they will eventually. And if their outbursts scare you early on, walk away. A full on violent rage episode targeting you is terrifying and life threatening.


7. Do Your Own Research

You don’t need to be an investigator to run basic checks:

Search their name online with keywords like “arrest” or “abuse”;

Look for public social media activity that contradicts what they’ve told you.

If something feels “off,” trust that instinct. As a woman, your instinct is your greatest weapon. Use it and learn to trust it. Your subconscious mind has the ability to process large amounts of data that you may not be consciously aware of but that will render a certain “feeling”. Trust it and run with it.

What to Do if You Spot the Signs

Set boundaries immediately, and be ready to walk away;

Tell someone you trust what you’ve noticed;
If you feel unsafe, contact local support services or authorities.

Remember: leaving early is easier than escaping later.
You are not being paranoid. You are being safe.
And safety is not something you owe anyone an explanation for.
Love should make you feel safe, not scared. Anything less is not love — it’s a warning.

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Not every tragedy is an accident

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I wrote a short bio about myself, very cold and generic, and I told about my mission. However, what I told no-one is what drove me to this moment of my life where I chose to speak and try to help others before it happens, before they become victims.

I’ve seen too many dead bodies, too many women beaten to death by their partners. But the one thing I cannot get out of my mind are the desperate cries of two young parents while I carried the body of their eight months old baby in my arms.

It’s infuriating to know that some tragedies can be avoided and yet there are people who let them happen. I’m tired of always being there too late when there is nothing else left to do than to punish those responsible. And even then, the punishment doesn’t equal the pain they’ve caused and the lives they destroyed. It is said that every life is sacred and yet some carry more promise than others.

So no, this isn’t just a blog, it’s a warning.
I can’t undo what I’ve seen but I can make sure you don’t have to see it too. One post at a time. One truth at a time. Starting here.
Because no child should die like that.
And no one should stay silent until it happens again.